Strange flashes

I finished one assignment yesterday, only to be given another one today.

I feel tired and drained, so I try to have a nap.

Instead of sleep, I spend an hour in bed with strange scenes of pain flashing through my head.

In pain, under the hands of an anonymous man, being tested - slapped, spanked, whipped, tied up, teased, forced to orgasm, yet refusing to submit, refusing to give anyone my love except Herb. Answering all his questions by screaming 'Herb is my Master' and 'Herb is my lover'. Breaking down - sobbing - crying - curling in a corner repeating 'I want my Herbie'.

On my knees, giving Herb a blowjob, his hands in my head, pulling, maneuvering, hurting me, him coming on my face, and then he tells me to clean up and go to bed.

In my room, feet tied apart, bent over my bed with my hands taped behind me - waiting for spanks.

Half asleep - arms suddenly pulled and bound behind me - nipples pinched hard - dirty whisperings in my ear.

I dream of pain. I think this is my mind's way of externalising the pain of being apart. I don't want any of this pain. I want my Herbie. I want lots of snuggles. I want to rest my head on his chest without any waiting train tickets, any waiting bus rides. I miss my Herbie =(